post cancer scan update!

hello! happy monday! it’s hard to believe july starts this week… the month of june really seemed to fly by… but that’s how the summer always feels, for me anyway.

i really love the quote on my desk calendar for today - “Faith is having the audacity to believe in the not-yet seen . . . Faith allows you to take risks. Faith is the stuff of “leap and the net will appear.” — we all need a little faith sometimes… don’t you think?

it is crazy to think that 2 years ago this week i was preparing myself for my first chemo treatment. ahhh i think back to that girl… meal prepping soups…. buying endless amounts of groceries for my house so that it was done… rage cleaning so that i didn’t have to worry about it once treatments began… the unknown was so scary for me. you can read all about your specific cancer, do endless amounts of research… read about the experience other people had etc. but everyone’s journey really is different. i stand by my original thought that having a positive mindset makes all the difference!!!

So here i am… a year and a half post treatment and i have some updates!

i had a CT Scan with contrast in may. there were no signs of cancer!!! i do have a little spot on my uterus area… but my doctor thinks it’s just a cyst that will clear up on it’s own… but as a precaution i am going to have an ultrasound later this summer. also, my thymus gland was enlarged. hearing this worried me because it could be a number of things. my doctor didn’t want to wait on testing so i had an MRI done a week later. the MRI revealed that it is Thymus Hyperplasia - which can be common in people post chemotherapy. the good news is there were no tumors attached to it and it’s not a cause for concern! the doctors will keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn’t grow any larger… in some cases if that happens it would need to be surgically removed… so fingers crossed it doesn’t get to that point!

let me tell you something about scans with contrast… i do not like them. i really hate IV’s … for my latest CT my veins decided to hide… so the tech had to do an ultrasound to find a vein… it apparently was a “deep” vein so i bruised pretty badly the week after the scan. it’s just not pleasant. it was my first time having an MRI also which is basically a CT Scan on steroids. holy moly was it loud. i am not sure if anyone watches Ozark but having the MRI reminded me of when Marty was in the “dungeon” in Mexico and they were trying to torture him into talking with deafening music … it really felt like that! just the worst sounds that went on FOREVER. sigh…. it eventually ended - after like 35 mins.

life post cancer is really weird… no one can really prepare you for it. i feel like i live 6 months to 6 months. i really do my best to maintain the positive outlook but in those couple weeks leading up to my scan it can be really stressful! the scanxiety is real and some negative “what if” thoughts creep in. like yes! i am cancer free… but how long will that last? will it return in another form like it does for pretty much every cancer patient i’ve ever heard of? is my life automatically cut in half because i had cancer before? the answer to those questions is probably yes… or at the very least “maybe” … and that is a little depressing…. but who knows! modern medicine changes every day and you really never know what the future holds! (see, there’s that positive mindset i was talking about!!). it’s really hard explaining this to people who haven’t gone through treatments… often times people just think well you’re treatment is over so the person who had cancer should just move on…. but it really doesn’t work that way. it changes the course of your life forever. it’s a part of who i am now and i still feel the after effects of chemo/radiation… fatigue mainly… and some annoying throat clearing the first part of my morning…. it really feels like a i can’t clear my throat… then it eventually passes. so annoying.

what i try to do is live for the moment as much as i can… no one is promised tomorrow. life is so damn stressful and at the end of the day is the stress even worth it? probably not most of the time so do what makes you happy! surround yourself with good people. travel!! take deep breaths… do whatever you can to make the most of your days… because life is short. of course all of this is easier said than done but you have to at least try.

so, on that note - i will enjoy the next 5 months until my scan in november … hopefully nothing crazy happens between now and then. the world is crazy enough right now don’t you think?!!?!!!

after the MRI results & officially receiving the good news that it’s all clear and i am STILL CANCER FREE - danny and i had a celebratory dinner at our favorite indian restaurant (it was finally opened back up for indoor dining!!!!! & a short trip to our favorite place - cape may nj!!

xo