welcome to my little space of the internet, i'm so happy you're here. i truly am taking life day by day and look forward to sharing all of life's crazy experiences with you!  

chemo #3 !!

chemo #3 !!

hello! it feels really good to have 3 chemotherapy sessions completed!  if the path for me is the chemo with radiation option, then i *only* have five more treatments left and that has me all sorts of excited!!  i mean, 5 is still a lot... but it's better than having 9 more... because let's be real, infusion is not a walk in the park.  it sucks, big time!!  i will know my treatment fate by the end of august/early september when i have my next pet scan.... eek!

ok, so let's get into the specifics about treatment #3... ew, i was in pretty much the worst mood of life.  i was even annoying myself.  it's one of those days where you know you're being unpleasant but there is absolutely nothing you can do to change it... the crazy train has left the station and has no plans on stopping any time soon!!!  so pair this severe bad mood with over an hour delayed start time and to say i was an unhappy camper would be an understatement!! 

going into each treatment day i now know what to expect... for the most part.  this is both comforting and also stressful because knowing what is about to go down makes me want to just GET IT OVER WITH - and when that proves to be difficult, i become [even more] difficult.  each day goes as follows: blood work (ugh), meet with my doctor and then infusion.  my meeting with the doctor went well and i found out all of my levels were right where they needed to be (!!!) so that meant no need for the neupogen shots this time around which i was grateful about.   


something that really annoyed me further (this time at myself) was the fact that i sat and waited for hours and somehow managed to forget to put the numbing cream on my port prior to infusion starting.  i mean seriously... WHY!!??!  it just wasn't my day.   but the nurse did give me good advice... she said to buy glad press and seal and after i lather the lidocaine on the port area, to place the press and seal over it and that will keep my shirt/hair from sticking to the cream and will really allow it to sink in and make it really effective!!  so hopefully i will remember to execute this helpful tip and fingers crossed for a more pleasant port access experience!!  i will say, even with all of my port complaints... i am happy i chose that option rather than electing to receive chemo through my veins... because having blood taken is traumatizing enough for me! just sayin'.  

i am currently a week post treatment and i am feeling pretty good!  my appetite has been "normal" and aside from the occasional stomach ache and/or headache, i am feeling pretty much like my "old" self.  i just get tired so fast, i hate it. also something weird, my hair is kind of growing back in random patches... it's very strange, but the doctor said that can happen.  i am loving wig life and if you follow me on instagram you already know that i bought a blonde one as well... it was a cheap, random amazon purchase and i do not regret it one bit!  

i feel like if i am going to share this cancer journey that i have to be as transparent about it as possible which i really am trying to be.  one thing that really has been difficult for me is the thought of going in public without a wig, or a beanie/hat etc.  it's just really hard to look in the mirror and see myself that way... it's a huge adjustment. but in the spirit of being brave, i am going to share a picture of me sans the wig! 


if cancer has taught me anything it is to love yourself!  take what life is giving you and really try to make the most of it!  so that is what i am doing... one day at a time. 

so that is my story!  thank you for reading and all of your love and support!! 

oh and just a little reminder to join my team for light the night!  i will be there walking and would love to see you too! 

chemo #4 !!

chemo #4 !!

light the night walk

light the night walk